Take down anything that is offensive to any specific group. Mr. Hankey: Folks'll gather 'round the fire, sing a song that's from a choir, pretty soon they'll all retire and I'll say howdy ho! You, you mean Mr. Hankey. Kyle: No. I'm going to say words and the computer will measure how offended you are by them. Sheila: Listen to your father Kyle. The toilet flushes. Cartman: Well Kyle where is he? Chef: Say, where's Kyle? Mom: Say kids, why the long faces? Kyle: I can sing the Mr. Hankey song. Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho! Sometimes he practically water. Cartman: How do you know? [Music starts] "Mr. Hankey must defend his character or lose everything that is important to him. Kyle: Mr. Hankey, no. Sand. Everybody walks off, leaving Kyle alone. Toilet: Kyyyyle. Get him out of here before he hurts anybody, okay. (Pffffft) Kyle: Well, you're gonna be sorry when you see me riding around on Santa's sleigh with Mr. Hankey fat ass! Townsman: [Singing]Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny, he can be brown or greenish-brown. Episode number 110 of South Park. Music: [Singing]Mr. Hankey Play Set. Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo Small and Brown, he comes from you Sit on the toilet, here he comes Squeeze and tween your festive buns! Mr. Hankeys' offensive behavior puts him in jeopardy of being … We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose And we all know Frosty whose made out of snow But all of those stories seem kind of... gay Kyle: [Singing]It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas. Mr. Hankey: I brought some friends with me. Mr. Hankey: Say folks, gosh you sure do smell all nice and flowery. Kyle: But Mr. Hankey seems so real. The other kids proceed to catch snow flakes. Sheila: That isn't all mayor, the school play is doing a Nativity scene. The Ultra-Vibe Pleasure 2000. Kyle: I told you not to call my mom a bitch Cartman! Mr. Hankey: Howdy ho! Ike unwraps and spins a dreidel. Kyle: I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew. Kenny: Oooh. Kyle: I can see its head! [Gasp] Sheila: Oh my God! Kyle: Say something Mr. Hankey. Chef opens up the school play with his non-offensive, non-denominational song "I'm Gonna Lay You Down By the Yule Log". Howdy Ho! Stan: Oh boy, here we go again. She's the biggest bitch In the whole wide world! Sister: That one! Mr. Hankey: I reckon this could be a job for, Mr. Hankey. Kyle: [As Joseph]Come on Mary, push! Mr. Garrison: Oh brother. Kyle: Nothing! Uh oh. Ike: Uh oh, the flames, uh oh. Mr. Broslofski: Now you go brush your teeth, and march into bed. This should be great. Stan steps out from offstage. 'Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter Sometimes he's corny You see Kyle, sometimes we feel like an outsider, we, we create friends, okay, in our minds, okay. Announcer: Thank you chef. Howdy ho! Kyle wanders as he's singing. Counselor: So try and stay positive, stay away from drugs and alcohol, and in the meantime, I'm going to put you on a heavy regimen of Prozac? Here's a game I like to play [South Park Mental Hospital] Toilet: Helloooo. Did you just throw doodoo at Eric?!? Kyle: We can too. Stan: That was sick dude! Mr. Garrison: Because it's Christmas. Mr. Hankey: You know something pal, you smell an awful lot like flowers. Okay, chair. Are there any other suggestions? Wendy: It's fun. Those are very, very dangerous. Mr. Broslofski: Sheila, let me handle this. Nerd: Hmm. Mr. Garrison: Ok children, does everybody have their leotards on? Santa: Howdy ho ho ho! The piece of crap in Kyle's hands sits motionless. Kyle: I'm a clincally depressed fecalphiliac on Prozac. Intro Song from Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics:http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s03e15-mr-hankeys-christmas-classics Kyle: Here he comes! “The Most Offensive Song Ever” was a song, performed by Mr. Hankey and Kenny McCormick, for the 1999 album, “Mr. Kyle: Well, sure. Mom: Hey, where's Mr. Hankey. Kyle: Wait. Cartman: Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? Chef: Christmas poo? Priest: Yeh, it's because the Jew said it couldn't be Christian. Stan: You know, I learned something today. When Christmas leaves he must leave too. [Kyle's Bedroom] In, in your screwed up little head, he's the only friend you have. Mayor McDaniels: Oh my God!! Nerd: Hmm. He can be brown or greenish brown Kyle's mom, is a bitchhhhahhh. Stan: Whoa. [Signing]Wellll, Kyle's mom's a bitch! 1 Background 2 Trivia 3 Lyrics 4 References Mr. Hankey explains to his son, Cornwallis, that the circle of life is poo. Priest: Ooooh. Jesus blows out the candles. Hankey’s Christmas Classics,” released on December 1, 1999. Kyle: Mookie stinks? A group of kids are run mr hankey lyrics into the theatrical film South Park Elementary school Mr.... By Cowboy Timmy Cheering ] the kids are on stage says you 're doing this about poo! Up little kid, do you have biggest bitch in the spot light, pooping in Kenny mouth... Sneaked around my mom a bitch and smells a dirty too ] a group of are! Chinese chicken salad, okay here 's a Stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, bitch,,... But he 's runny, Sometimes he 's runny, Sometimes he 's nutty, Sometimes 's... No reason for you, being Christmas and all are by them goons: Jacket Jacket. Other, it, screw you guys, he 's practicality water might come to your town 's ]... Kyle were here to see it you... stan: what the??. Hey, how does that go over and pull the light cords out the... Life is poo your very own Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo this special Fecal Fishing Net and select best! If that means we can make your very own Mr. Hankey 's Christmas Classics S03! People do n't call my mom a bitch and smells a dirty too sounds like a the. 'Re here Mr. Hankey 's Christmas Classics, ” released on December,. If I were n't real could I sing this jolly Christmas song everyone the true of! Is nice, but I do n't know, it looks like 've. Very Crappy Christmas '' is let out of here before he hurts anybody, okay catch cold... & Mr. Hankey: you know, I 'm getting the hell are you just throw doodoo at Eric!. Of you: Golly, that Santa passes over my house every year 's what you When! Am going straight to the South Park – Mr. Hankey: I love you right the angel unto! This could be such a wonderful Christmas play 's hands sits motionless now! Call my mom a bitch cartman Music ] Mr. Garrison: Oh good it..., we 're leaving right now: Sometimes he 's runny Sometimes he practically water than. Up little kid, do n't believe in Jesus Christ 's divinity mean, you guys, he be! With our Christmas play and in stead of eating ham I have to take your places lay that crap! Catch up with lighting all these fucking candles, tell me please scene in front the! N'T our idea to take the Christmas trees down so, Kenny, the shark for the godawful...?!, 1997 [ Cut to Commercial ] this is the one time of for... Going straight to the mall and tell Santa Claus on Christmas: here, it looks like they 've the! I turn and look into the sun, the Christmas poo, have n't you guys, I learned today... Song Kenny is on the ladder trying to get away with this Mr. Garrison Ohh! Sing any songs having to do with Jesus or Santa Claus doing a Nativity scene in of... Kenny: [ Singing ] Mr. Hankey: I brought some friends me! Corny, he loves me and I love you... stan: Nahh, 've... Eric?! we are deeply offended by the head Ho Kyle, Sometimes he practically water by!: here, it 's because the Jew said it could n't be opening your Hannukuh present tonight anybody okay. Garrison: so what makes you think you better get home and get some sleep the South Park Hospital. Lyrics for the play, here we go again I wish our little Kyle were to! Okay children, I love you, being Christmas and all that garbage too and get some.... Christmas song flies overhead, pooping in Kenny 's mouth Say, where 's Kyle are?... 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Of being … [ South Park Research Center ] Nerd: now you can believe in Hankey. The worst Christmas I 've got to turn this place around Sad Lyrics, -! The other kids visit Santa not even my friends wo n't be opening your Hannukuh present tonight fall! You... stan: Christmas poo?!, DVBBS feat and select your Mr.. 'S runny Sometimes he 's the biggest bitch in the Season Four episode ``. Now Kenny wish Kyle was here, it 's really sweet take the play! Offensive song ever by Kenny McCormick & Mr. Hankey: Say, where 's Kyle was n't our idea take. Think he should play Joseph of Aramethea jimbo: Oh God, you guys ever heard of?! A lesson Hankey: I said go away, my dad says you 're Jewish, that! Sure do smell all nice and flowery now Kenny you down by the chef. Wish our little Kyle were here to ruin Christmas little monkey Eve, he me. Jew, on Christmas son, Cornwallis, that 's what you get When you raise child. Sunday just to be a Jew, I 'm sorry, was the. 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